I haven't updated this blog since 2011. It sounded like a great idea to blog the newness and fun of marriage, but it was hard! Two babies and 4 years later we are still living our happily ever after and the days keep getting sweeter. Different but lovely.

Here's what's on my mind today.

We just had family pictures done. The kids look lovely. Josh is handsome and I find myself looking at me and just wishing I looked different. Before taking the pictures I wanted to lose weight and get my hair done. Time didn't allow for the hair and the weight ... Well it's coming off but not fast as I would like. I found myself upset at the woman in the picture because she isn't want I wanted her to look like.

Then I stopped, took some deep breaths and remembered that these pictures are gifts. I spent so long praying that I would find love and become a mother. I spent time fighting for recovery from bulimia. My pregnancies were hard, and the bulimia and two rough pregnancies have taken its toll on my overall health. I'm blessed to have these two beautiful gifts, a loving husband who always tells me how beautiful he thinks I am. How can I look at myself with eyes of hate when I remember all the blessings God has given me. Why judge myself at all and let that judgement steal the joy of these beautiful pictures that will be wonderful memories of such a sweet time in my life.

Lord help me see my life with you eyes. Help me count my blessings instead of list my faults and shortcomings.

Still happily ever after. And full of joy with what the Lord has done in my life.